so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
