What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
