you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
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