Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
