Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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