So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
