Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
