Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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