the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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