I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
