Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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