I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
