You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
