Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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