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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude, she has braces

  (240): View more from Maryland

  i meant the dude w the ponytail.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.

  (561): View more from Florida

  He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.

  (648): View more from

  100%

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.

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• (714): View more from California

  I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride

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