can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
