guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
