Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
