We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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