I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
are you so shy because you have an std?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
