i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
