Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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