PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm really busy with my period
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