I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
