1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
