My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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