You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
