I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
