The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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