Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
