turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
send nudes
from the living room?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
