He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
