so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
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