I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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