I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
