East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize