just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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