My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
