Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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