Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
