i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
