We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
40s are totally the cure
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
