I am full of burrito and curiosity
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
