speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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