Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
