I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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