someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
my liver is dry heaving
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize