How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
