just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
