You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Randomize
