Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
