So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
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