Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
