Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize