i'm signing you up for texting rehab
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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