I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
