I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
