No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
