my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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