what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
