East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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