she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
if i died would you start the facebook group?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
