we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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